Things Can Happen To Me, But I Refuse To Be Reduced By Them

ETIENNE JUST APPEARED ON THE DISABILITY DIARIES PODCAST

Things can happen to me but I refuse to be reduced by them

In this episode of The Disability Diaries, Etienne sits down with Steven Vine to talk about:

  • Living with cerebral palsy and refusing to be defined by it
  • Three careers: programmer, minister, disability coach
  • Why the disability community needs coaches, not just peer mentors
  • The Disability Ownership Model (D.O.M.) and meeting people where they are

Episode: 67 | Date: September 6, 2026 | Duration: 48:34
Host: Steven Vine | Show: The Disability Diaries
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Disability doesn't have to stop you.

 

No need to be a superhero to Rise Disabled, you just need to give yourself a chance, everyday!

 

Etienne was born with Cerebral Palsy.

 

He had 3 careers in his adulthood; firstly - a computer programmer for the Canadian Government, secondly - a United Church Minister, and currently as a disability Life Coach. Etienne had a lot of challenges in his life, but he persevered and found the resources to live to his full potential.

 

When he was younger, he didn't think that he was any different from the other kids, until someone pointed it out. He asked his doctors when they were going to cure him. He found his calling to be a minister but found the accessibility difficult in traditional older churches.

 

He found a need in the disability community for coaching, counselling and helping with resources - so he developed the coaching career to help other disabled people. He started out as a Peer Mentor but eventually preferred to be a Coach. His core values are joy, compassion and growth, expressing these values gives Etienne energy.

 

If you decided to work with Etienne as a coach, he would create a specific program for you, depending on the stage that you are in with your disability.

 

You are right — here is a full-arc version that carries the biography, the quote, the piano, the seminary, the hip fracture, and the core frameworks across every section.


TL;DR

Etienne LeSage, a former programmer and minister living with cerebral palsy, builds his coaching philosophy on Maya Angelou's refusal to be reduced by circumstance. He argues that disability is neither a pitiful state nor a superhero narrative, but a universal human stage best navigated through a three-stage framework of overwhelm, acceptance, and transformation, where every limitation carries a corresponding strength.


Key Takeaways

  • Maya Angelou's quote — "refuse to be reduced" — anchors LeSage's belief that painful moments can be pivoted into new meaning rather than defining a person's worth.
  • LeSage's three careers — programmer, United Church minister, and disability coach — illustrate how identity reinvention remains possible after each physical and professional loss.
  • The three-stage disability framework maps overwhelm, acceptance, and transformation as a cycle rather than a line, because setbacks like a broken hip can return a person to an earlier stage.
  • LeSage defines disability as a universal life trajectory, not an exception, noting that aging, accident, or illness will eventually bring disability to most people.
  • The "flip side" framework states that every disability challenge contains a corresponding strength, such as empathy, resilience, and creative problem-solving, but unmanaged strengths can revert to new challenges.
  • Anger functions as a healthy component of grief when disability arrives or worsens, and self-compassion matters more than forced acceptance or superhero performance.

 

 

FAQ

"Things can happen to me but I refused to be reduced by them." What does this Maya Angelou's quote mean to Etienne LeSage?

For LeSage, Angelou's statement is a directive to pivot painful moments into meaning rather than letting trauma define identity. He applies it to his cerebral palsy, career losses, and hip fracture by viewing each not as an erasure of selfhood but as a forge-point that shaped his resilience. The quote rejects the premise that hardship shrinks a person; instead, it demands that the person expand around the hardship and rise again.

What are the three stages of disability adaptation?

LeSage maps overwhelm as the first stage, where a new or changed condition demands grief work, basic resources, and hope rather than forced acceptance. The second stage brings survival with openness, where a person can learn to adapt. . The third stage is transformation (equilibrium and rebuilding), where manageable energy returns and active coaching becomes viable. One examine strengths and reframe their relationship with disability, builds more resilience and new projects. Because the cycle is not linear, setbacks like a broken hip can return a person from stage three to stage one.

What is Etienne "flip side" flip side philosophy about disability?

The framework posits that every limitation contains a hidden strength and every strength can become a challenge if unchecked. For example, energy constraints can develop exceptional planning and empathy, but pushing resilience too far leads to burnout or depression. LeSage lived this when his extroversion fueled his coaching yet ignoring physical limits after his hip fracture delayed recovery. The framework demands honest self-observation rather than superhero performance.

Why does Etienne LeSage say anger is a normal response to disability?

LeSage normalizes anger as standard grief, recalling how he raised his fist at God at age eight upon learning his cerebral palsy was incurable. He encourages people to sit with the "this is not fair" phase without rushing to acceptance. Self-compassion matters more than heroism. He assures listeners that anger is temporary, that it does not disqualify them from support, and that treating oneself fairly is the first practical step through grief.

Why does Etienne LeSage call disability a universal life stage?

LeSage argues that disability is not an aberration but a normal human trajectory. Anyone who lives long enough will experience disability through aging, accident, illness, or birth. He notes that fifteen percent of the global population currently lives with a disability or chronic condition, making it the world's largest minority. Reframing disability as inevitable turns barrier removal from charity into self-interest, since nondisabled people are ultimately investing in their own future quality of life.

What did Etienne LeSage learn about the "superhero" and "pitiful" narratives?

After a year of coaching, LeSage concluded that society forces disabled people into two damaging roles: the pitiful object of charity or the inspirational superhero who overcomes everything. He found the most dignified space lies between these extremes, where a person can be exhausted and hopeful without shame. His own depression taught him that cracking under pressure is not weakness but humanity, and that pretending to function like a nondisabled person exacts a toll that eventually breaks the body or the mind.

Smiling man with glasses and a green shirt.

Etienne LeSage

About the Author: Etienne LeSage (he/his)

Etienne is a disability coach with over 48 years of lived experience navigating physical disability (cerebral palsy, arthritis, and osteopenia). Diagnosed in early childhood, Etienne has adapted to multiple significant disability changes throughout his life, including relearning to walk twice after major injuries. With a Master of Divinity degree and ordination as a progressive Christian minister, Etienne brings a holistic approach to disability coaching that addresses both practical and existential challenges. Through RisingDisabled.com, Etienne specializes in helping adults rebuild purpose and confidence after life-changing disabilities, combining personal resilience strategies with professional solution-focused coaching. His work is informed by both peer-reviewed research on disability and decades of firsthand experience overcoming the physical, emotional, spiritual and social challenges of living with permanent and progressive disabilities.

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